Bring on the snack hamsters

You might think the British government would be a little embarrassed. Sir Jonathon Porritt, their official advisor on sustainable development for the last nine years, has left his post and blasted his former employers with choice phrases like these: "...dogmatically following an outdated Thatcherite model of economic growth regardless of the social and environmental consequence...massive failure of political leadership...deep hypocrisy...the UK [is] a world leader in green rhetoric...on key issues...Labour ministers should feel an abiding shame".

The government of course put out a statement about its "leadership on climate change" being "rooted in a strong record at home", which the figures hardly support. But they needn't have bothered responding, because the electorate just don't care. I would have expected this story to be treated as major news, but I'd be wrong. It didn't even make the top ten. Here is the list of stories in the BBC news web site's "most read" column as it appeared beside the Porritt story when I first found it:

* Playful dolphin strands NZ woman
* Natasha Richardson dies aged 45
* Top Gear star to build Lego house
* Spotify sets its sights on iPhone
* Snake 'befriends' snack hamster
* Iced coffees 'a meal in a drink'
* Price cuts to trim Ryanair profit
* Store stops father buying alcohol
* Blackmail goalkeeper at new club
* Police apologise for death error

Half of these stories are prime silly season stuff, another one is four months old, and the rest, important though they doubtless are for the individuals directly concerned, are hardly going to affect the rest of us in any noticeable way. I have a strong sense of the entire nation putting their hands over their eyes, sticking their tongues out and going "Blah, blah, blah" as loud as they can to drown out the disturbing voices of people like Porritt.

But maybe I'm wrong, and fate will finally catch up with us not in the form of runaway warming, famine or massive sea-level rises, but with us all being stranded by dolphins miles from our lego houses, longing for an iced coffee while wondering nervously if we too can befriend those hamster-loving snakes slithering threateningly towards us.

I was comforted a little by another recent BBC headline, though: "Flu risk 'still low' after death." Presumably that means the virus isn't easily transmitted by ectoplasmic contact.